Elaine Miller
I think this one needs no introduction.
Cold-Blooded Pair Bonding -- by Elaine Miller
"Vicious!"
"In broad daylight!"
"Ooh, just look at them!"
"I can't look. Let me know when it's over."
"With them it's never over. They're at it all the time...."
I do it just to make you sick, you know. In this day of push-button violence and zipless sex, remote-control wars and the Jerry Springer show, I display my love, affection and lust for my lover for the sole purpose of turning your stomach.
Just. For. You.
What do you mean "Get a room"? It took me six hours just to get out of bed this morning. If I go back in to my room with her, I'm sunk for the day. Safer to stay out here, with all my loving friends.
Are we two always like that? Always like what? Like this? Well, yes. We don't expect anything to last forever but we want to see if we can ride this particular wave for another fifty years at least.
I'm in a bubble? Why then, did you feel it necessary to pop it? Did the iridescence on the surface bother you or was it the feeling of not being included? If I don't have a contract, express or implied, to give you my attention at this time, why is it so important that I *not* pay attention to her?
I think I need to create another support group, one for couples who are having pair-bonding ecstasies above and beyond the norm. The only problem would be, that no matter how snappy the acronym I eventually came up with, none of the folk for whom it was intended would show up on any regular basis.
I can imagine the marginally apologetic calls the next day...
"Well we almost made it out the door, and then,
"What? A terrible fight? No? Oh. Great sex, huh? Yeah, I can empathize. Better luck at getting to the meeting next time. It's at my house. Bring the crowbar, you'll need to pry me out of bed with my Loved One when you get there. Thanks. Bye."
Would you like to look at a picture of my girlfriend's breasts? Aren't they lovely?
Have you ever wondered at the tolerance shown for couples that put in years of public fights, angst or nasty squabbles, and at the almost universal hostility shown towards people who express positive feeling towards a partner? Cloaked in joviality, it still carries the flavour of sour grapes.
"There's a time and a place you know."
When then? After I'm dead? This ain't your mama's funeral, darlin' and that's about the only time and place I can imagine not wanting to touch her hand, hold her, kiss her cheek, taste her sweet mouth...
The time is now, and the place is here, and this may be my last moment on earth, or my last hour with her, and every precious second counts, don't you get it?
I'd neck with my honey through Armageddon, I would.
